I’m on the
move…….again. Not today, but we are days away from finally moving to our new
house. People keep asking me if I am excited. I don’t know what I am. I’m sure
excitement is in there, but I don’t feel exactly like I thought I would feel.
Every
apartment or house I have moved to, my mom has always been there. When I went
to college, she was there setting up the place. She knew where to put the
dishes and how to organize the pantry. She made that tiny little apartment feel
like home. My first house, she came and cleaned the entire kitchen and then
organized every dish, fork, pan and appliance. She could put shelf paper in
faster than anyone I know. My second house, she did the same. This time she
made curtains. She made it look and feel homey. My last house, and I’m
repeating myself here, she took my kids while the movers did their magic and again
she organized my kitchen. Guess what? You know the story here………she isn’t here
to organize. So I am feeling, I really don’t have the word for how I am
feeling. I feel, so that’s a start.
You know
what? A couple of days ago we here in my neck of the woods experienced a spider
bloom. Hundreds of baby spiders were born and they shot out their webs and the
wind took them away. Where? Everywhere. These little babies, without their moms
floated in the breeze to somewhere all by themselves, no idea of where they
were going to land. I kind of feel like that. The difference between those
spiders and me? I only have two legs, I’m not segmented and I know where I am
going to end up. I also don’t deliver a bite that could eat your flesh off. At
least I don’t think so. That sums it up. If there is a word for it please let
me know.
Setting up
house. That is my task. I don’t like doing it. I put too much pressure on
myself to get it all done as soon as I can. The sooner I can unpack, break down
the boxes and put things in their new places the sooner I can breathe and feel
like my change is over. Really that is when the reality of the change sinks in.
There will be the mandatory reaching for the drawer that has the forks only to
find out I was reaching for the drawer in the last house, or dare I say, in the
villa. Fortunately the bathroom will still be on my side of the bed so when I
get up in the middle of the night I’ll have the same path.
Always good to have
the same path.
Yep, my
change is just beginning. It is a good change but then that one word just stops
me. It doesn’t matter what the adjective is before it. This move will be the
best one that I have made but at the same time, the hardest. She isn’t here.
She won’t be giving me her ideas or her opinions.
She loved to
decorate, I think I’ve said that a time or two. I don’t like to decorate, I
think I’ve said that before too. Today I went to buy some curtains. I’m not a
good curtain buyer. I either buy the wrong size or color. I usually say “oh
well” and use them anyway. The curtains are for my daughter and she has a
particular taste for her things so I decided to let her choose.
Nothing out
of the ordinary here.
We were in
the store walking around and then it suddenly hit me that the last time I went
to this particular store my mom was with me. It was like a blow to my head and
then the tears started to fall. I really felt silly. I can’t believe I let it
get to me at that moment. I have too many things to do, feeling sad isn’t on
the list. So, I gathered up my purchases and my children and we left. I sure
hope the curtains work because I don’t think I’ll go back.
Sad isn’t
how I feel though. I still can’t think of a word. In the meantime, I’ll recap
the numerous follies that have transpired over the past 7 ½ months.
First we
stuffed the contents of a house into a three room apartment/villa, garage,
storage unit and a storage building. My kids have “accidentally” dropped
various books, balls, food and toys off of the veranda. The first incident
ended with me breaking my itty bitty toe on the couch that was just not in its
right place. We have spent over $3000 in medical bills because we are allergic
to something in the villa. My son has suffered the most. I have on average,
walked up and down the stairs to take the dog out, retrieve items or just run
errands at least 8 times a day. You would think I would be a stick. Nope, Rocky
Road takes care of that. We have an ugly naked guy that walks his dog without a
shirt. I’ve posted a picture on my Facebook page. Not pretty. I have threatened
a teenager because he and his friends chose to do drugs outside where my kids
were playing. We have a couple who only wear pajama pants, walks their dog
without a leash and I am pretty sure they are stoned most of the time. He and
his significant other either have drug parties or they are swingers. I don’t
want to guess. There is a little girl that, excuse my language but it
reinforces my frustration, fans her farts in front of my kids. We have snakes,
rats, bugs and horses that keep us amused. Giants live above. We hear them
walk, run, hop, jump, bounce, turn over in bed and yes (again excuse the
language) fart way too early in the morning. We have been threatened with fines
and told to remove a stick collection.
We have lost plants, hermit crabs and at times our sanity. We’ve found poop in
the pool, folks “swimming” really close together and creepy men that just
stare. The latest and best of all……..a bag of drugs. Yep you read right. My
husband found the stash while on a walk with my kids
.
NICE!!!!
(Please read that as a loud frustrated mom who lives in a bubble).
There you
go. That’s it in a nutshell. We laugh at it all, not because it is funny, which
it is, but because everything is just so stupid. What else are we going to do?
Our time
here is just about over and we are ready. Leaving the villa is the easiest
thing to do. I welcome that change. I just don’t like the idea that the best
change in a while is coming without her.
Mom, you
would love this house.
CALMLY
WONKEY WITH A SMALL SIDE OF CRAZY!!!!!!!
I feel
better now.
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