She Was Southern, Spunky and She Was Real

Sometimes in this life, here on this planet, there are people who stand out. I’m not talking about those who stand out because of their reputation, status, criminal record, celebrity or the like. I’m talking about those who are real. First we need to know what is real don’t we? I believe it is the ability to live in this world, here on this planet, day in and day out with your head above water, knowing what you know and still facing each second of each day. It is wearing your heart on your sleeve, not being afraid to speak your mind and not conforming to what someone somewhere has said you should be or do or feel. Real is real, never fake.

It’s been over 3 years that my mom left here. I have grieved in a backwards sort of way. I have chosen to step outside of my protective bubble to “work through” the pain. I believe I have. She is gone but I will see her again. Her last day here was in May 2012. It wasn’t long after that I took to invisible internet waves to air my grief. Shortly after, I met someone who changed my perspective of myself. 

If you want to meet people, don’t go to the internet. If you want to get answers, don’t go to the internet. The internet isn’t real…..or is it?

I met Alyson through another friend who I met because she too had lost her mom to pancreatic cancer. At this point all I knew was death. My mom had it and she was the only one I knew. The disease ended her life with me. I have to say I was very hesitant to “meet” anyone online because again, the internet to me wasn’t real. The first thing that I discovered was that Alyson was also battling pc, only her story was very different from those I had read about. It was very different from the only one I knew of. She was alive, spunky and so powerfully determined to beat the disease. She inspired me, she gave me peace and she gave me hope. She encouraged me to never give up on raising a million dollars for mom. I walked for my mom and I walked for her.

One day she let me know that she was coming very close to my hometown. “Can we meet for lunch?” I agreed. I would be lying if I said I was 100% driving my kids and myself an hour away to meet someone that I knew from online. I hoped to find an out, but God had other plans. She met me with her arms wide open and a smile the size of Texas. She hugged me like I had been her friend my entire life. In that moment, on that day, I saw real. We ate, talked, laughed and hugged. She told me that she was going to win and that one day she would see her son get married. I believed her.

I was told that Alyson passed in her sleep.

Sometimes in this life, here on this planet, there are people who stand out. 

Alyson is a southern princess in my book. She spoke her mind and those that had issues were left to deal. She wasn’t rude, vulgar or petty. She was just a woman who was shown death’s door and dug down deep to keep it closed. She was a fighter like I had never seen before. Death didn’t scare her, but she wasn’t going to let pc be the cause. She just wanted to live for her son. 

She did.

As the tears flow, I’m reminded of what my son said just after I told him the news,

“well she’s in God’s house, this IS a good day isn’t it.”

Alyson, you touched my life like no other. You let me know what you were going through and how it made you feel. I imagined that must have been how my mom felt. You gave me hope that progress against this disease was being made. I believe it is, but it still takes lives. Thank you my friend for being in my life. Thank you for lifting me up when I missed my mom so much I couldn’t breathe. Thank you for being real.