I Have a Bubble and a Boulder, Lucky Me!

My vacation is over. I liked my vacation. Beach, seafood, beach and seafood. I could be a beach person but I am not, I am surrounded by land, dry (mostly), hot land where the houses are smushed so close that I could almost spit on my  neighbor's window. I wouldn't, but I am a good spitter. I miss my vacation. I do like coming home and having my familiar surroundings and all of my favorite things I like to have in my bubble.



Vacations are like rocky road ice cream, they are so wonderful while you are in the middle but when they are over, I feel a little sad. This time I was sad because as long as I can remember, every trip I ever took ended with me calling my mom and letting her know that I was home and safe. I did call my dad, but it wasn't the same. He doesn't talk girl talk very well. It's not his fault, he's just Dad. I actually tried to think of someone I could call just to say, "we made it back and we had a lot of fun." There is someone, but I have to learn to be momless.

I read a book by Billy Crystal. In it he discussed how he lost his father and how he felt like he was carrying a giant boulder around (grief). I have a giant boulder and boy is it heavy. I think it is attached to my leg and it just weighs me down. It is very much like my bubble, it goes everywhere with me. I don't know how to get rid of it, so I just drag it around. It went on vacation with me but somehow I was able to manage it. I didn't cry at all, I think. I had fun. I even had some moments that I didn't think about it. Then, we came home. My boulder did too. I wish I could just take it somewhere and leave it but I know that when the time is right, I will cut it loose. For now I am thinking of naming it and building some sort of cart to help me carry it around.

I joke a lot, it helps me deal. The reality is, it is my boulder and I am the only one who can carry it and I am the only one who can let it go. I know that for sure. The real question is, how do I do that?

By the way...."Mom, we made it home safe. We had a lot of fun. We miss you."

Please, go to the website, just donate a dollar. Help me justify why I am carrying this boulder.

http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/evamckinney/KeeptheMemoryAlive