I live in a
bubble. I have for a very long time. In my bubble, germs are kept to a minimum,
evil people and things can’t come in and life just moves along in an orderly
fashion. There isn’t change because if it threatened to breach my bubble, well
chaos erupts. I also don’t like change. Any change. I like things to be
predictable and smooth. Change just loves to mess that up. I have company in my
bubble, my family. They are in it because they love me and I am in it. We
venture out but I always have hand sanitizer and Wet Ones. It makes me feel
like I carry my bubble with me. It is my security.
Imagine how
I felt when my mom passed away. I don’t even like to phrase it that way.
Imagine how I felt when my mom left. Numb. My world that I had known my entire
life just stopped. No more phone calls, advice or vacations together. I am on
vacation today. My mom didn’t get to come this time. I hear her voice, I see
her face, but she isn’t here. Change is hard. I don’t adjust well. I will…eventually.
For now, I just feel very uncomfortable and disjointed. But, I move on anyway.
I wonder how
many people have felt the same way when they lost someone they love. How many
people felt lost when they heard that someone they adore left because
pancreatic cancer grabbed on and wouldn’t let go? I know there will be more; I
just hope we can raise more donations so that over time, there will be none.
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