If You Are Ever Broke, Come See Me

As I sit here glaring at my computer, I am struck at how emotional I still get when I start to write. Eight months, it has been eight months. Today is my birthday and it will forever be the same number as the one of my mom’s death. Not the same month, just number. This is the first time in my life that I will not get a call from her. It usually went something like this. “Hi mom! Hi Carole, Happy Birthday! Thank you. Have you had a good day? Oh it’s been alright, mostly just another day. No it’s not another day. It’s your birthday.” Well that conversation won’t take place again. Listen to me, I am wallowing aren’t I? I said I wouldn’t do that anymore. Still, I am sad today. 

My day started at 5:30am when my daughter hopped into my bed and slept across me. My son followed about an hour and a half later. It followed with a special gift from both and cards from everyone. I cried. It’s 9am and they have plans but I’m not supposed to know. I wonder if I tried as hard as they are to make my mom’s birthday special. 

My family wasn’t poor but we weren’t well off. We made it through each month and we had everything we needed and a few extras. My dad worked out of town and my mom went to school. I can say this about her because I saw her every day. She worked so hard at everything. She was responsible for it all. I was a busy-body so I had my ears in everyone’s business. I can remember hearing my parent’s talk about money. The words “we are broke” were said a time or two. Now as a kid, you hear things the way you hear them. You take things literally and you carry things differently in your heart. I believed at that moment that my family was penniless. I believed that one morning I was going to wake up and my parents were going to tell me that we were going to have to live in a tent or something. Have I ever mentioned that I have the ability to blow things way out of proportion? It’s a gift.

Back to my story. 

I was and still am an asker. I ask for just about everything. People would go to lunch with me because I could always manage to ask and get a free desert. If you don’t ask, you may miss out on something. I asked for every toy, every game and every “thing” that came around. I was told no a lot. At least that is my memory. This one particular year, after I heard my parents declare that we were broke, I decided to do something. I couldn’t stand to see my mom sad and I felt that she must be sad because we didn’t have any money. No matter what, I was going to put a smile on her face that day.

I went into my room and started looking for something that I could wrap up and give her for her birthday. I went to this party once and one of the favors was a pin of a circus seal. Nothing special, but for some reason, I kept it. I decided that was “the” gift. I wrapped it up using the only wrapping paper that I could find….Kleenex. I even used tape. I waited until the right moment, usually when it was just my mom and me, and I gave it to her. By the way, I’ve left an important part out. Just wait.

Like most moms, she smiled that smile and acted so surprised that I had a gift. I never felt so proud because I knew what was in it. She opened slowly only to build suspense. When she reached the gift, she was totally surprised. In that little white tissue was my seal pin and all the coins I had at the time (which was never much). She had a look of confusion on her face when she asked why I was giving her my money. I puffed out my chest and smiled my best smile and I said,  “this is so you will never be broke again.” That was one of the biggest hugs I ever received.

I will never forget that day. It is my most special memory of her special day. 

Before my mom left, she started cleaning out things and giving a few things away. Old clothes, books, things of mine that I had saved and other things. She had a jewelry box that she kept in her drawer. I always looked through it. It was in a drawer that had scarves, some hose and when she wore perfume, a small bottle was tucked away in the back. That drawer smelled like my mom. As we were going through trunks and things, I asked where that jewelry box was. She didn’t know what I was talking about. So, I went to the old dresser and opened that drawer. There in the back was the jewelry box. I pulled it out, opened it up and there was the pin and the coins that I gave my mom so many years ago. She save them. They were in a little envelope.

My mom save my special gift. 

I took the whole box to her and showed her what I was talking about. She opened the envelope, smiled and said “You told me to keep these so I would never be broke. Well I did and I never was. Now I am giving them back. This is so you will never be broke.”

My mom died several weeks later. 

So I am closing with two pictures. I hope they give you a little joy just like they did when I gave them to my mom and just like they did when she gave them back. 

http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/evamckinney/KeeptheMemoryAlive