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Monday, June 24, 2013

She's My Princess



I’m being followed. Not by someone, that would be easy to get rid of. I think what is following me is worse. I’ll come back to it in a bit.

I’ve said many times, the worst day of my life was the day my mom called and told me that she had pancreatic cancer and that it couldn’t be fixed. That day plays over and over in my head. It won’t go away and I wish with all my might that I could go back and erase that horrible, tragic day. I can’t. I’ve also said that I quickly started my research and based on the facts as I knew them, I accepted what was happening. I said I was never angry at God and I meant it. More about that a little later too.


As everyone knows (and everyone is probably sick of hearing), earlier this year I sold my house and I have been living in an apartment. February 14th, that’s how long we have been in our villa. We have three more months. It is no secret that I am not happy with our living arrangements. I can manage this lifestyle, it is the continuous plague of illnesses that we have had since our move. We have calculated that since moving here, someone in our little family has been sick every two weeks. Sinus infections, strep, ear infections, something called hand, foot and mouth disease, random fevers, colds and allergies. I believe it is the villa that is causing some of this and the stress of knowing we have three more months is tremendous to me. I’m great at exaggerating, when necessary, but in this case I’m not. This place was not cleaned before they finished the floors and the dust is abundant. We can’t seem to get rid of it. The next question, what is the dust?
So I will accept my responsibility in all of this. We chose to take this path to a new home. We did not choose to risk the health of our family. Nothing makes me feel more helpless than when my babies are sick. I question everything and everyone. Since my mom’s diagnosis, I have been for the next shoe to drop. You see, I have always believed that anything can happen to anyone, just not to my family or even me. Until that day. I quickly changed that belief. Bad things happen to everyone.

Bad things can happen to me. 

So with ever runny nose, fever or stomach issue, I have a scary dark cloud that hovers. I feel like it is waiting to strike me down by attacking those I love the most.

My kids have just recovered from the same illness. My daughter suffered the most and to see her so sick just socked me in the gut. It wasn’t serious, just a sinus infection, a horrible nosebleed, some barfing and strep. Normally I would worry but I would try to push that dark cloud away. Only this time, we had blood work done to make sure something else wasn’t going on. To my surprise, the numbers were a tad low. I was told nothing was wrong and to come back in two days for a recheck. Same result but this time we were told to come back in 10 days. It hasn’t been ten days yet and my cloud is growing. I Googled and it grew.

I’ve worried, cried and relived the phone call that my mom made to me. I have discovered that I am angry. I still don’t believe that God did this to my mom, but I do believe that he could have fixed her. I’m not mad at Him. I am mad that she isn’t here.

Is it happening again? Is my daughter sick?

Probably not, or at least that is what friends are telling me. Faith is being tested. I think I am failing because I can’t let go of my control.

Why do I feel like everything is going to be bad news? Is this normal? I don’t know because those around me have never had such a jarring tragedy. I call it that because it was so unexpected and very horrible to watch and move through. When will this dark cloud go away?
  
When I am tired and those around me sick, I miss my mom. I miss that reassuring voice. I miss the support.
Well, I’m tired of hanging on so tight that I can’t breathe. I am tired of borrowing trouble. I am tired of believing that my mom’s illness and death define the future of my family. How do I let that go?

I don’t know yet.

Most likely, my daughter is fine and the numbers were a result of all that went on when she was sick. She is a happy little girl who almost never has any issues other than those a Drama Queen might have. Still……I worry.

My daughter says she wants to be a princess when she grows up. She asked, “Mama, can little girls really be princesses when they are grown-ups?” I told her yes. Some may think I’m lying to my baby girl. I’m not. She is a princess now and when she grows us she is going to meet her handsome prince and they are going to live happily ever after. That I know for sure.

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