I have a
confession to make, I have been thinking of closing up my bubble and going back
to my quiet, simple life. The total donations today is at just under $1700 and
to be honest, I feel like I am failing my mom. It is my lack of patience that
is causing a lot of it, but mostly it is my inability to convince the majority
of the people I have contacted to donate a dollar. I am failing to appeal to
most. I realize that pancreatic cancer isn’t something many people know a lot
about and it isn’t high on the list of cancers that are widely publicized. I
thought that maybe I could change that or at least I could inform some people.
I think I have, but again, most are not donating.
I am failing my mom.
Really not
just my mom, I am failing my friend and so many others that have tried and are
trying to fight this disease.
Do you know
anyone who has been touched by this disease? I bet you do, or at least you have
heard of someone who has died from it. Let’s just see…
Sally Ride
just lost her 17 month battle. She was a pioneer in the space program.
Patrick
Swayze, I know you have heard of him, but my kids love his character in The Fox
and the Hound II. Steve Jobs, Apple CEO,
Randy Pausch (his book is really great), Dizzy Gillespie, famous jazz virtuoso,
Bill Hicks, comedian, Joan Crawford,
actress, Michael Landon, actor, Fred Gwynne, actor and author of children’s
books, Luciano Pavarotti, Italian opera singer, Jack Benny, comedian, Donna
Reed, actress, Henry Mancini, composer, conductor and arranger, and Count Basie,
jazz pianist…..just to name a few. I Googled these, I am sure if you look
harder you will find more.
Three more, my mom, friend Jim and Kate’s husband. I don’t really know
her, but I met her in Target the other day. For some reason we started talking
and found out we have a lot in common.
Today someone is going to find out they have pancreatic cancer. Today
someone is fighting this disease and losing. Today someone is struggling to eat
because pancreatic cancer has robbed them of their appetite. Today someone is
agreeing to stop treatment. Today someone is starting their Hospice care. Today
someone hugged their loved one and realized that it was the last time. Today
someone lost their battle with pancreatic cancer. Today someone is crying
because their loved one is no longer here. I am tired of all those todays. So,
I am going to gather myself and my ideas and I am going to push forward. With
or without you, I will raise more money. Someone is willing to give and I need
to get busy finding them. So no, I will keep the pinhole in my bubble and I will continue to carry the still nameless boulder and the newly discovered lead weight....for a while at least.
Please indulge me for a moment.
Dear Mom,
You missed their birthdays. I knew you would. It was hard. They went to
the doctor yesterday for their checkup. He is still off the charts, 95th
percentile and above. She is above average as well. They are both healthy and
doing well considering. They were given four shots each. He cried a little but
said he was brave. She had a harder time. I hugged her tight. We made up for it
at Toys R Us. All is forgiven but we were told that they would not be going
back to that doctor ever again because they didn’t like the pokey things.
It isn’t really getting easier, I am hopeful it will. We miss you so
much.
Love,
All of us.
http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/evamckinney/KeeptheMemoryAlive
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