I think my
fish is a sex addict. There, I said it. I am not proud of her, but I think an
intervention is in her future. I realize this has nothing to do with my
grieving process or fundraising, but this is something that has been brewing in
my house, ok in my fish tank, for quite some time and I think it is time I
address the issue.
It all
started oh about 3 or 4 months ago. We have two Dalmatian Mollys and they
happen to love each other. Curiously, Lady Molly became pregnant and gave
birth. It was a special time in our home. Our daughter just loved the babies
and we desperately tried to save as many as we could. In the battle of nature
vs. nurture, nature won and we were only able to save three. Unfortunately, most
were consumed at an earlier date and one of the three decided the nursery wasn’t
comfy and perished. So, two survived and are thriving. Whoo hoo, free fish.
About a
month ago, I noticed that Lady Molly was gaining weight. Being the female that
I am, I decided not to point it out to her and hope that it was just stress and
she using food to ease her emotions. Nope, she was pregnant…..again. No
problem, we learned a few things and we had a plan. Yes, this could work. We
would separate her from the other fish into a smaller tank. We would watch her
and when she had her babies we would move her back to the bigger tank.
Lady Molly
grew. If you can imagine a pot-belly pig as a fish, that was what she looked
like. She even waddled when she swam. Last night I made her a nice tank with
new everything, the perfect birthing palace. We moved her this morning. My
guess was that she was either going to give birth or just go belly up. We had
no choice, my daughter loves babies and we will do just about anything for her.
The day went on just like normal. No excitement, no drama. I decided to check
on our expectant mom. Yep, she gave birth. It was sweet. There were babies
swimming here and there. We moved mom so the babies could have a better chance.
Then we started counting. At first, we counted about 10. No problem, we have
lined up adoptions. Notice I said “at first.” Lady Molly had roughly 40 babies.
You read it right, 40! They are all alive and eating fish food. What do I do
with 40 fish if they survive? That doesn’t include the other 12 I have in the
original tank. These aren’t guppies, they grow much bigger.
Can you spay
a fish? No that would be too hard. I can’t have a talk with her about waiting a
little while longer, I don’t speak fish. Although, my son says he can speak
dolphin..hmm, something to think about. Seriously, how do I teach my fish that
just because he says he loves her doesn’t mean she should make babies with him?
This is a dilemma and frankly I just don’t know how to solve it. Can’t flush a
live fish; that would be wrong, right? (Please pick your jaws up, I am on the side
of the animal/fish). I guess I could get a third tank and put it next to the
babies and the hermit crab tanks. Oh my gosh, I just thought of something. Do
fish inbreed? Wholly crap (please forgive me)! Are we going to have fish
popping out all over the place? Clearly I won’t be sleeping tonight. I will be
up trying to keep the boys away from the girls. Oh the life of a parent.
So, we have
two four year olds, two dogs, two hermit crabs and 52 fish. The kids I’ll keep,
the dogs are old and just want to lie around, the hermit crabs like to
redecorate and then the fish…
WANTED
Lots of free fish to a good home.
Must have own tank.
Send inquiries to me.
I realize
this seems made up, but I assure you, it is a true story. I now have 52 fish. I
didn’t this morning but I do now. On a side note, my son thinks that all
animals poop out babies. I think I will save that discussion for another day.
Welcome to my life.
By the way,
click on the link below and donate, I’ll send you a fish.
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