What do you
stand for? Who do you stand for? I have spent a great amount of time in my life
asking myself the first question. As cliché as it sounds, I have asked myself,
more than once, what is the meaning of life. I have always felt that I have a greater
purpose than just muddling by like the masses. Before pancreatic cancer came
into my life, I was struggling to find my role in life. Wife, mother, daughter,
friend, income bringer-inner and when my mom was diagnosed I added grieving
daughter; how to manage those and still feel like a human was the challenge.
Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom, wife, friend and daughter. But
something has always been missing….me.
Music has
been important to me throughout my life. When I was little I would listen to
Wacky Westerns and Elvis. As I aged, Elvis and whatever was trendy was what I
played. It’s funny how I can hear a song and it takes me right back to a
particular time, some were good, and some were not so good. Regardless, I can
pair certain events in my life with certain songs. I know I’m not the only one,
but in my mind it is my special gift. The last three weeks of my mom’s life
were difficult. I think I have driven that home a time or two. My drive to her
was no less than an hour and a half, each way. So, I had some time to listen to
music. Many times I listened to my kids DVDs or CDs. Simple songs about not
hitting or just the alphabet. I did listen to mainstream music too. One song in
particular just seemed to play every trip. You have to understand here that I rarely
listen to the words. The song had no special meaning to my situation; it just
played on the radio…a lot. I hear it sometimes and suddenly I am driving by
myself to see what pancreatic cancer did to my mom since I saw her last. Those
feelings of what am I going to see or find come pounding back. I like the song
and I always listen. I imagine that she is still here. CRAZY! I know!
There is
another song that I have heard a few times. I looked it up, watched and
listened. I listened to the words. That is why I am asking, what do you stand
for? I thought about it all the way home today.
What do I
stand for?
Tough
question, isn’t it? I’ll answer.
I stand,
first and foremost, for my babies. I am their voice, I am their biggest fan.
I stand for
my husband. Smartest person I have ever known. He saved me from a life I wasn’t
looking forward to.
I stand for
my mom. She can’t anymore.
I stand for
every person who has pancreatic cancer. They have enough to worry about, so I
will fight for a cure for them.
I stand for
their families. They feel exactly like I do. It’s not fair.
I stand for
everyone who will be diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Today they may have no
clue, but tomorrow their world will turn over. They need people in their
corner.
I stand for
those who have donated. They gave selfishly to this fight. Some because they
know me, some because they know the disease.
I stand for
those who have not donated because many have no idea what this beast will do.
Many think
they are immune to it. I will stand for you too.
What is my
purpose? My purpose for now is to be a wife, mother, fundraiser and a fighter
of pancreatic cancer. My purpose is to raise money for a cure. My purpose is to stand for my
mom and for all of those affected by pancreatic cancer.
I always
thought there should be a commercial that shows people who have the disease,
friends and family each standing one at a time in front of a camera. Their eyes
would pierce through the screen and they would simply say, “I am the face of
pancreatic cancer. I am the face of a fighter.”
I’m not in television;
I can’t even get them to notice my cause. But I will say this;
I am the
face of pancreatic cancer! I am the face of a fighter!
What do you
stand for?
Who do you
stand for?
While you
are thinking, come stand beside me. Fight with me. Who knows, I could bring
snacks, I’m a good cook.
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