I Am Pathetic But Germ Free

It has occurred to me, after rereading some of my past blogs that I sound pathetic. It just sounds like I sit around in my bubble with my boulder and hand sanitizer crying and feeling sorry for myself because I must be the only person who has lost a parent. If it will make people feel sorry for me and donate then yes, that is what I do all day long.

Really I am doing much better than I make it sound. I have found something to be passionate about and I am working towards a goal. Unfortunately it requires me to relive my mother’s experience every day. It is a price I willingly pay for donations and awareness. I miss her, but I am seeing peace starting to creep back in my life. I deserve it and I need it. But I will not forget why I gave in and started a Facebook page nor will I forget why I am allowing myself to be more exposed than I am comfortable with on this blog. 

DONATIONS!

I am going to keep bugging and pleading with everyone that can read or listen. I will wear you down, I am good at that. I realize that some of you (I am assuming that more than my husband reads this) are thinking I am nuts for trying to raise a million. I’m not nuts, I am a mom and moms will do crazy things sometimes. Remember, moms can move mountains. I personally have not done that yet, but it is on my bucket list. When we reach a million dollars in donations, I will check that one off and continue on raising more. 

Pancreatic cancer is going to strike someone else today. That is what it does. Is it you? Is it someone you love? Could be. You all (again assuming I have more than one reader) are at risk and it could be lurking around waiting. One of my best friends that I have known just about all of my life was just diagnosed last Sunday. I had not seen him in almost 20 years, but I went to visit last week. He described what he was going through and I left thinking my gosh, he has pancreatic cancer. He had the same symptoms, but it took the doctors entirely too long to determine the diagnosis. That was what made me think it was a different cancer. It wasn’t. I know what he faces, I know what his family faces. My heart is breaking all over again. 

To my dear friend, I don’t say I love you to too many people, but you have been in my heart for so long and I do love you. This is unfair and cruel, but sometimes in life we don’t get to decide what happens to us. We did so much together growing up. I will cherish every memory. I have thought about those years a lot. We had fun. You were annoying and so was I, but we managed to enjoy ourselves. My mom loved you too. She would tell you right now to fight. Someone has to beat this and it is going to be you. We need more memories so, let’s get this done and get busy making new memories. I love you.

http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/evamckinney/KeeptheMemoryAlive