Does Someone Have a Patch? My Bubble Has a Hole in It

My bubble has a pinhole in it! I can’t believe I let that happen. I love my bubble. I know, you are thinking “what on earth breached the steel-like outer core of Carole’s bubble.” Well, let me tell you, I did it. I will give you a minute to compose yourself. It came as a shock to me too…….

Actually, I didn’t realize there was a pinhole until yesterday. We were having a nice walk, my daughter ran over every foot with her stroller and my son was “too tired to go on.” The usual complaining but it was a nice evening walk. I was talking about my friend’s passing, my mom and how on earth I am going to find all the people I need to get to a million dollars. I was also complaining about how uncomfortable Facebook and this blog make me. My husband informed me that I am venturing out of my bubble. BINGO! Only I am choosing to believe it is a small hole. I would never leave my bubble, it is cozy. But, he is right, shhh, can’t let that one get around.

I have been living a quiet life for a long time. Before babies, I was a sculptor. I am tooting my horn a bit here, but I was good and back then I didn’t have a bubble so the little attention I had didn’t bother me. It was still a quiet life with the occasional mural, painting or sculpture dragging me out in the world.

After my babies came, I built the bubble. Had too, there are nasty stomach viruses out there. When one baby barfs the other one isn’t far behind. Do you know how many Wet Ones it takes to clean up barf? I don’t and I am not about to find out. Shortly after, the gray hairs came, living in a bubble with two babies is stressful. I added a wing, but babies follow you everywhere you go. That wasn’t in the manual. We have managed.

Pancreatic cancer changed my direction. Two babies, work and my mom being ill tired me out in every way. Sometimes I would imagine driving until I ran out of gas just so I could escape from the stress. Never did. Gas prices just kept going up. So I scooted on. 

After my mom left, I began raising money for research. When I asked my husband “how should I find a million people” he said Facebook. After much thought and some Pepto, I gave in, thus creating the beginnings of my bubble breach. I am exposed. I have nothing to hide, I just like living quietly. I am not living quietly any more. I have this blog but I am selective about what I talk about, I will never post a picture of myself or my family (not totally true, there is a picture of my kids out there but just their backs) and personal conversations will take place privately. It just works for us. But, I will dare to peek out of my bubble if it means that I can convince people to donate. You see, my mom suffered. Not just one day, she suffered for seven months. I could give you the details, but then I think most people don’t want to know. I will say that it isn’t something anyone should ever have to go through. Pain, sickness and change, that is what she felt. That is what pancreatic cancer does. Anyone who is surprised at how quickly it engulfs the person who has it only needs to read the stories. 

It strikes, it kills.

 I am going to help put an end to it. I am going to raise a million dollars and some scientist/doctor is going to use it to stop the beast in its tracks. Just wait and see.

As I type, my neck is stiff and my head is starting to hurt. I think I will patch my bubble. That should make me feel better. Maybe tomorrow I will add a door…..a small one.

http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/evamckinney/KeeptheMemoryAlive