Yes, It is True, I Was Groped at My Mom's Funeral

I don’t think I have used this blog to vent. I have used it to air my neuroses, hang-ups and even to help me understand myself through this whole grieving process. This post is going to focus on venting. My boulder grew over the last week and I am wondering in venting will shrink it.

Here are some things you should never do around someone who recently lost a loved one.

• Never forget the pain that the living feel. It doesn’t just go away. Sometimes we feel guilty for living. We also may feel guilty for eating. Anyone who knows me, knows why.
• Never try to “top” someone's grief. All grief is hard and everyone has their own process to go through.
• If you are naturally insensitive, just walk away.
• Don’t hover. Wait patiently to the side. You will know when they need you.
• Never tell the grieving daughter that she looks just like her mom, especially after you just saw the deceased.
• Never grope the daughter at the visitation or funeral. Yes it happened, there was an audience. We actually laugh at that one. My behind will never be the same.
• It doesn’t matter how long the loved one has been gone, we will miss them forever.
• Never ask how the deceased is doing. That does make me laugh a little because if it is someone who knows better, there is a tiny bit of satisfaction in seeing them try to get out of that predicament.

There, do I feel better? No not really.

Over the past two-ish months, there seems to be a lot that has been piling up on my plate; sort of cluttering my thoughts. I realized today that I usually vent or just discuss everything with my husband and my mom. My husband helps more than he will ever know, but there is just something about a mom. I haven’t been able to unload all of these things, decisions and concerns that are weighing me down. Wait a minute, not only do I have a boulder that I am dragging around, it appears that I have a lead weight that I am trying to carry too. That’s just dandy, now I have one more thing to figure out how to let go of. 

If you are not or were never close to your mom, or maybe your dad, then I might seem more than a little strange. Well, my mom was my center pole. I have been made fun of and even criticized in the past for my relationship with her. I never cared. My mom was and is my best friend. To not have her is at times unbearable. 

I have some big decisions to make really soon. I don’t know what to do. I have lost my number one sounding board. Oh sure, my husband and I will make them, I just miss having my mom tell me whether we were doing the right thing.

No, I don’t feel better today. I feel defeated. Tomorrow will be different…..I hope.

http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/evamckinney/KeeptheMemoryAlive