I Seem to Be Out of Catchy Titles Today

I’m tired. Tired of feeling sad, tired of the tears hitting me out of the blue and tired of living pancreatic cancer every day. Does anyone know what that feels like? I know the answer, but I would like to hear from others every now and then. There is a comment button at the end of this post. I need to know that I am not alone. I want to hear your story. Everyone has one, even I do. Pancreatic cancer isn’t the only one, but it is the only one that is key to what I am trying to do. 

I need a break from this. I need a vacation without internet, phones and stresses. But, you see, I can’t do that. If I take a break from fighting for everyone who has pancreatic cancer and for those who are going to get it then I have wasted very valuable time. Does that make sense? I have no idea why this disease chose my mom. I will never know, I assume. It robbed us and I am not going to let it rob anyone else. Do you know what it feels like to be robbed of a life with someone? I know there are a lot of people who do. I’m not the first and won’t be the last to ever lose someone so precious that without them, breathing is hard. I know by living this disease every day, I am robbing me of closure. But right now, I have to do this. 

Over the past week, I have read so many stories just like mine. I have found so many people who are fighting the same fight. One lady is running marathons and a very nice gentleman is going to walk across America; all for the fight against pancreatic cancer. It is amazing what people will do. It is inspiring. I have messaged back and forth with many and all are so supportive. They understand what I am doing. My close friends do too. This is a disease that brings me to tears and frightens me to my core. Yes, only because my mom had it. I wish she hadn’t. Can’t change the past, only the future. That doesn’t help me really, but I think if I keep thinking that way then maybe, just maybe, my spirits will turn around. 

I’m tired. Not the lay down and get some rest kind. I am emotionally, physically and every other –ly there is kind of tired. Do you know what that is like? Each day is a challenge, but one that I will face for my family and for those who are depending on the researchers finding a cure. I will recharge at some point but for now I have to keep fighting. I may not be running a race, (I am still running though) and I may not be walking across America, but I am working towards the same goal.

I have the support of my husband and friends and I am grateful. They know me and know what I have to do. They have all donated and they are going to walk with me on that emotional day in November so that we can honor my mom and show everyone that we are fighting together. They are standing behind me as I constantly ask people to donate just one dollar. They understand.

Please, tell me your story. Tell me how you were able to move forward. And while you are at it, click on the link and donate. If I haven’t tugged at your heart strings then watch the YouTube video my husband made. My kids are holding the signs. After you watch, share it and donate.

http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/evamckinney/KeeptheMemoryAlive

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBq1E1gbPhY&feature=share